When you are on a diet
The hardest thing to do
Is look into the mirror
And admit that it's all you.
It's hard to give up custard
And lovely treacle pud
But you've just got to admit
It won't do you any good.
You can't have a lovely cake
Or your very favourite chocs
And your nearly driven mad
By food adverts on the box.
You're poisoning your system
By eating what you please
So throw away the pudding
Have an apple and some cheese.
Greasy chips are bad for you
And so is all that meat
Go easy on the dairy food
To give yourself a treat.
Just have a plate of salad
It's sure to clear your skin
By bedtime if you're hungry
Don't raid the biscuit tin !
Then after all your efforts
If your clothes are getting slack
You'll be so very happy
You've got your figure back.
But if you're still quite plump
And it's the best that you can do,
Then maybe the one who loves you
Loves you, just because you're you.
Poem to a Husband on a Perpetual Diet
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There was a dear man called Ray Who got out of bed one day, He said to his wife, " Oh light of my life Make me bacon and eggs right away" To which his wife promptly replied " Would you like your eggs poached or fried?" He said " What I'd like most Is some butterless toast " But she knew very well that he lied. So she quickly prepared the repast The sooner to save him from fast. She cooked bacon and egg, And a slice of fried bread Then gave him his breakfast at last. Smiles came to his face with each munch And his teeth enjoyed every crunch, Now his stomach is quite He's back on his diet At least, anyway, until lunch ! |
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